Random Thoughts

It seems that lately I am always popping awake at about 4:00 a.m. and then I can't get back to sleep. This is what happened this morning.

I have just been thinking a lot lately about life and death. The presidency message in the Ensign this month is about death and how it will happen to all of us and we have to be prepared for it to come at any time. I thought quite a bit about my Grandma who died a few months ago. Yesterday I attended a funeral for my Aunt Annie May Durrant. She died last Tuesday after battling Alzheimer's for about five years. The funeral was so nice. It was great to learn more about her and her life. Her son Ronnie said "I don't know if I was so good in pre-earth life to deserve the best mother in the world, or if I was so bad that I needed the best mother in the world. Either way I got the best mother in the world." This made me start to think about what my children would say about me at my funeral. Will they feel the same way about me as Ronnie feels about his mother? I don't know.

The last few weeks I have struggled with being patient with my children. I have been told that when I was a little girl if I was told "no" I would burst into tears. Now I have three little girls just like me. Anna is already doing this if she is told not to do some thing she cries and cries. Yesterday we were outside, and after she tore all the bloom off one of my mom's petunia plants, I told her "no" and took her away from it, She was very upset. Abby has started to yell at me first and then cries. Yesterday she was bouncing a ball and it hit her cousin Autumn in the head. I told her to be careful because when she threw the ball it hit Autumn. She turned and yelled that she did not trow the ball she bounced it, and then she cried. Bridget cries quietly, but it takes her a long time to stop. In church last time she was laying across all the chairs and her underwear was showing. I asked her to please sit up, and she cried for at least thirty minutes. I know that girls are emotional. (after all I am a girl). I just sometimes don't know the best way to deal with it. I love these girls so much. I hope they can be patient with me as well.